Ross: We were on a break!
Chandler: OH MY GOD! If you say that one more time I'M gonna break up with you!

Monica: What happened?
Chandler: Um, Joey was born, and 28 years later I was robbed!

Kathy: Y'know, you have great hair!
Chandler: Thanks, I grow it myself!

Chanlder: Have you ever been with a woman?
(Rachel just glares at him)
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question!

Kathy: Why don't you call me when you've grown up?
Chandler: Yeah, well don't expect THAT to happen anytime soon!

Treeger: It's like finding money!
Chandler: Like finding money with naked people on it!

Monica: What should I wear to a Knicks game?
Chandler: How about a t-shirt that says 'I don't belong here'?

Girl: I talk in my sleep. Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep!

Joey: We could climb Everest!
Chandler: It would be nice to leave an ass print on Everest.

Joey has bought that stupid Union Jack hat (and no, us Londoners DO NOT wear them all the time!)
Chandler: Well, I don't have to wear that 'I'm with stupid' T-shirt anymore!